Gotta do something or lose my mind

It's funny how the writing itch can remain unscratched for months at a time, then suddenly blossoms overnight. I have been working on my photographs for awhile now and it seemed to keep me creatively satisfied. The act of taking pictures relaxes me and then I have the added fun of processing the photos in Photoshop. The whole experience is like instant gratification.
Writing takes considerably more effort, especially the first part, the "coming up with the idea" part. I will sometimes spend considerable amounts of time to write a few paragraphs, and even though the final product will give me that same little rev of excitement that taking a good picture will, it does take a longer time to get there. I have come the the shameful conclusion that I am being creatively lazy. I need to exercise all of my artistic muscles to get the energy I crave.
The above photo was taken on a recent walk. When I look at it I feel very calm and relaxed. It reminds me of a painting rather than a photo, makes me feel like an artist rather than some amateur out taking snaps on vacation.

flickr

Posted some stuff on flickr. Love to show off my pics! See them at http://www.flickr.com/photos/29674193@N05/

Never give up

The summer is halfway gone...as soon as we celebrate the 4th, I have to start looking ahead to the coming school year. Usually that means that wonderful "I am free" feeling is starting to fade. The start of a new year is always exciting, but I often feel as if I have to be dragged into school. It's not as if I don't like teaching, I do, but the best parts of summer for me is the lazy early mornings, where I can read as long as I like and write and the late nights, usually messing with photographs in photoshop, neither of which I can continue doing during the school year.

I am thinking of some new ways to teach the classes...better organization, more pertinent content, how to incorporate more creativity into the projects while still maintaining some control over the groups. This year, my classes are bigger than ever, so some thought will have to be given to classroom discipline. My classes can easily slide into chaos if I don't keep a tight reign on them.

In my campaign to always keep the creative fires burning (sorry for falling into cliches) I have begun writing posts for ecotimes online newsletter for my friend Ann. The newsletter is a centered around trying to be as environmentally friendly as possible.It's a fun way to keep writing and exercise my funny stuff...meaning that I have to try and keep the posts light and witty, not fall into the somber serious vein that so many "green" articles do. So far, it's been fun and I am learning a lot about living a little more earth friendly.

Yellow Brick Road

I am officially Mrs. Cox now...long time of crazy, busyness over. School out, masters completed, wedding well attended and now long honeymoon drive around the northwest. Boulder, Park City, Portland and now Seattle, with a few stops in Twin Falls and Baker City, Idaho.
This is a picture of the Flatirons in Boulder.


I haven't been blogging as I had planned to do on this trip...too many late nights, rushed mornings to get anything on paper (or computer). I have been snapping a lot of pictures though, expending my creative energies with the camera. These are just a few of my favorites. I have literally a thousand pics so far and will be busy the rest of the summer picking through and fixing the best from the trip.



This trip has been great in many ways, one of which has been getting to know the way my camera works. Still figuring it out...I think it will be a long learning curve, but a satisfying one.



One of the things which has driven me crazy on this trip is the whole smoking issue. What a monumental pain in the ass it has been at times. Very few hotels will let you smoke in their rooms and even outside one has to be careful not to get too close to the doors or in areas where children may be. Wonder how I survived living with smokers? Everyone is afraid of some kid getting a whiff of smoke from 200 yards.



Still...what a great trip it's been so far. I will be reflecting about what we've seen and done, both in writing and with photos, for months probably. What a great way to start a summer and a new life.

DO NOT look at me

My friend and my sister threw a "couples" wedding shower for Jeff and I last night. I loved it that they wanted to give us a shower, but it made me uneasy. I didn't like thinking about it and delayed registering anywhere until everyone kept asking me about it and I saw that I was hindering the process. I originally thought that my reluctance to participate in shower related activities was about not needing more stuff. Jeff and I combined have more stuff than we can possibly use and have been actively trying to reduce the amount of clutter, furniture, and redundancies in our home. Not that I didn't appreciate the thought and effort that my sister and pal were showing. I did and still do. Many friends came, brought many useful gifts and they all had a nice time. Except me.

I spent most of the week before the shower actively trying to forget that it was going to occur. Easy to do, because the wedding is just days away now. The day arrived, and I was dreading going. Finally I began to examine why I was feeling this way. What the hell is wrong with me, I wondered. I felt like an asshole because my sister had driven 4 hours to help host the event and spent untold amounts of money on decorations and wine. My friend had it at her home and she was reeling from a terrible sinus infection. And here I am, not wanting to go and feeling very uncomfortable when we arrived.

As I moved from group to group, thanking people for coming, laughing, telling everyone how excited I was about marrying Jeff, inwardly I was feeling so awkward. After my second margarita, it hit me that I do not like being the center of attention. In fact, I hate it. I hadn't realized how much it bugged me to have everyone looking at me, even in friendship and love. It's exhausting. I now understand my very up and down feelings about the wedding itself. While I am happy to be getting married to Jeff, I am uncomfortable with the ceremony/reception aspects. Somehow I feel responsible for everyone's fun...are they having a good time? Am I entertaining enough? Lots of pressure and as I write this, I know it's an unreasonable burden to place on my shoulders.
This week, as the day draws nearer, I will try very hard to be more relaxed about everything and to understand that I can't control anyone else's anything, including their fun level. Enjoyment comes from a give and take situation: I do everything I can to make people comfortable and welcome, they will either like it or not. Either way, I've done my part and I can relax.

14 days and counting

I will be married in fourteen days. Most of the time I am very happy about it, but sometimes I am so nervous...will everything look all right? What if the caterer doesn't come through? What if I look like an elephant in my dress? (I'm really worried about this dress. I know it looks okay, but is it the best I could do?) Too many things to remember and not ever having any time.

Took some pictures with my new camera. Jeff got me a Canon g10...nice camera. Can't wait to have more time to just mess around with it. Maybe on the honeymoon. Lots of time there, no doubt. Found a great site to learn more photography. http://www.all-things-photography.com/digital-slr.html so far, a good site for a beginner like me.

These are three of my first pics with the new camera. I think flowers and landscapes are my favorite subjects so far, but I also like messing around with different subject matter.

Sometimes people drive me crazy